“My therapist emailed to say she would no longer be seeing me face to face due to the new Covid strain / lock-down. The previous lock-down was horrific without face-to-face support. It’s not an experience I would ever want to repeat.”

@Chlowinfield1’s #MadCovidDiaries 15.1.2021 TW: Suicide and Self-harm Last week my therapist emailed me to say she would no longer be seeing me face to face due to the new Covid strain/lock-down and me not being able to wear a mask (I have an exemption and can wear it for short periods e.g. on the busContinue reading ““My therapist emailed to say she would no longer be seeing me face to face due to the new Covid strain / lock-down. The previous lock-down was horrific without face-to-face support. It’s not an experience I would ever want to repeat.””

I kept expecting someone to label me ‘attention-seeking’ or warn me I shouldn’t be in Accident and Emergency with the current COVID situation. Instead it was all offers of hot chocolate and reassurances.

@Chlowinfield1’s #MadCovidDiaries 22.8.2020 TW: Self-harm I wrote most of this blog during my first overnight stay in A&E for mental health, and my first A&E visit at all since Covid. I haven’t written much recently, the depression has got so bad I can’t seem to think of coherent words, but I needed something to focusContinue reading “I kept expecting someone to label me ‘attention-seeking’ or warn me I shouldn’t be in Accident and Emergency with the current COVID situation. Instead it was all offers of hot chocolate and reassurances.”

I felt like a piece of meat turning over for the scan. I dissociated from myself and no longer was a person. This is what trauma and autism in a pandemic feels like.

I felt like a piece of meat turning over for the scan. I dissociated from myself and no longer was a person. This is what trauma and autism in a pandemic feels like.

Human Bean’s #MadCovidDiaries, Week 21: August 10th to August 16th 2020

Trigger warnings: medical talk, self injury, trauma

I feel so annoyed that many of my friends think people like me are being too anxious and just need help to be less afraid. I feel that I have an accurate view of the COVID risk and they have kidded themselves into being less afraid because they want to “get back to normal”.

I feel so annoyed that many of my friends think people like me are being too anxious and just need help to be less afraid. I feel that I have an accurate view of the COVID risk and they have kidded themselves into being less afraid because they want to “get back to normal”.

I feel like we’re living in such a brutal world and I didn’t even have the resilience to cope with the old one let alone this.

Human Bean’s #MadCovidDiaries, Week 16: July 6th to July 12th TW: Cancer I came out to my mum as non binary this week. I also told a few more people about my plans to change my name. I feel really silly about it (internalised transphobia or a hangover from being stigmatised for BPD shifts inContinue reading “I feel like we’re living in such a brutal world and I didn’t even have the resilience to cope with the old one let alone this.”