My OCD: Seeing Red

Hope’s #MadCovidDiaries – 6.5.2020 TW: OCD, sexual abuse, STDs, self-harm, hallucinations, disordered thinking After the recent discourse surrounding OCD and the pandemic— which, in short, seems to be suggesting it is helpful or desirable— I decided that this week I would write about my experience of OCD and why this discourse is harmful. Many membersContinue reading “My OCD: Seeing Red”

#StayAlert: The pushing back of responsibility onto the individual echoes neoliberal health and welfare policies.

Charlotte‘s #MadCovidDiaries 10.5.2020 Don’t you hate it when a partner, friend or (worse) a manager says to you, “Listen, we need to talk later. I’ll tell you what it’s about then.” Argh! Terror! What can they possibly want to say that’s so important they can’t just say now? It must be something awful! Is heContinue reading “#StayAlert: The pushing back of responsibility onto the individual echoes neoliberal health and welfare policies.”

Waiting on the Cliff Edge: The crisis of quarantine for the mentally ill.

Retropxssy‘s #MadCovidDiaries TW: Suicide, Anorexia, COVID deaths I feel as though I have been left to die. I am one of the 1 in 4 people in the world affected by a  mental health problem. ‘Normally’, despite diagnoses of complex trauma, anorexia, anxiety and depression, I’m pretty high functioning. A lot of the time, aContinue reading “Waiting on the Cliff Edge: The crisis of quarantine for the mentally ill.”

BAME key workers from working class backgrounds are falling ill and dying in disproportion to the rest of the population.

By way of introduction  My name is Lol Benson, I am scouse and a middle aged white man who works at Manchester Uni as a senior lecturer in healthcare management. I first developed depression in 2010, triggered by the bereavement of my mum Kathy Benson and then over the following three years I began toContinue reading “BAME key workers from working class backgrounds are falling ill and dying in disproportion to the rest of the population.”

Squabbling and factions get in the way of progress!

Jo’s #MadCovidDiaries 4.5.2020 Jo’s seventh vlog is out now!  Jo talks about how p*ssed off she is about the factions and squabbling, particularly on twitter. She mentions a recent blog she published with others on @MadCovid in response to an article in the Guardian, which has had a lot of attention. On a positive note,Continue reading “Squabbling and factions get in the way of progress!”

COVID19: The most devastating impact on my mental health has been to witness humanity’s greed.

Matthew Jackman The mental health and service user experience during COVID19 in Australia: from personal to professional disaster. I write alongside my heater in the lounge room as the weather reaches 8 degrees centigrade on a dreary and rainy winter like day in Melbourne, Australia. Working from home has been a struggle, as I gatherContinue reading “COVID19: The most devastating impact on my mental health has been to witness humanity’s greed.”

I want to scream and shout, which I did manage to do when accidentally watching the news. Maybe I’ll make it my new hobby, shouting at the nonsense people say, particularly politicians.

TW: Thoughts of physical violence Sunitha’s third #MadCovidDiaries 3.5.2020  It’s been more than two weeks since I last wrote. Not sure why, mixture of very good mood periods where I felt I wanted to be free from technology and low mood points where I just wanted to binge watch some terrible TV show, to escapeContinue reading “I want to scream and shout, which I did manage to do when accidentally watching the news. Maybe I’ll make it my new hobby, shouting at the nonsense people say, particularly politicians.”

Lockdown: Week….I have no idea!

Charlotte’s #MadCovidDiaries Diaries 29.4.2020 Last time I wrote I was quite pessimistic, thinking that my mental health wouldn’t hold up much longer under lockdown. I was, initially, wrong. I had several weeks of really good mental health, just feeling “me”. Not anxious, not depressed, not hypomanic, not even feeling the need to check in withContinue reading “Lockdown: Week….I have no idea!”

For my loved one

TW: Abortion, eating distress, health anxiety Hope’s #MadCovidDiaries – 23.4.2020 Thanks for the dance, and the baby you carried It was almost a daughter or a son                                     — Leonard Cohen, Thanks for the Dance, 2019 You don’t like this song, because it makes you think about dying, about saying thank you as a goodbye.Continue reading “For my loved one”

On Psychosis and Global Events

TW: Suicide M’s #MadCovidDiaries 27.4.20 Many of us can remember where we were and what we were doing as history’s most notable events unfolded. I can remember exactly where I stood the morning after Trump was elected. It was a normal morning before a day at university. From my kitchen in the UK, there wasn’tContinue reading “On Psychosis and Global Events”

I’m a little sick of lockdown, the novelty has worn off.

Jo’s #MadCovidDiaries 27.4.2020 Jo’s sixth vlog is out now!  Jo talks about missing her yearly trip to see her mum and her nephew in Wales for their birthdays, which she’s found hard. She also hasn’t heard about her shifts at the foodbank this week, which has been a bit unsettling as they give her structureContinue reading “I’m a little sick of lockdown, the novelty has worn off.”

I keep getting hit by waves of panic about everything.

Human Bean‘s #MadCovidDiaries – Week 5: April 20th to April 26th 2020 TW: Self harm; Alcohol / Sobriety, COVID deaths I feel much calmer than last week. I have had fewer intrusive thoughts about self harm.  I keep getting hit by waves of panic about everything. Today, I was making cornish pasties from scratch, whichContinue reading “I keep getting hit by waves of panic about everything.”

These days, the rising sun sometimes brings heavy feelings of sadness and dread.

Eva’s #MadCovidDiaries Diary 24.4.2020 TW: Sixth Week in Lockdown Started off the day in a slump. Sleep erratic. Took a Zopi around 4am. Fall asleep reading a book. A Thousand Splendid Sun’s. Woke up on top of it.  As my eyes settled in the daylight, I groaned. These days, the rising sun sometimes brings heavy feelings of sadnessContinue reading “These days, the rising sun sometimes brings heavy feelings of sadness and dread.”

Hands off: A little bit of spoken word poetry for all the MH researchers out there.

Hands off! This work is mine. Just because I like to write, Does not mean that it’s fine For you to take my work. That I somehow won’t mind, Because I do mind. It matters very much to me That I have control, In life, And in the things that I write. It matters very much to me That I keep that control. It’s not thatContinue reading “Hands off: A little bit of spoken word poetry for all the MH researchers out there.”

No, I didn’t know that Boris Johnson had missed five COBRA meetings, but I was so unsurprised that it didn’t even feel like new information to me.

Hope’s #MadCovidDiaries Tuesday 21.4.2020 TW: Miscarriage, COVID deaths I am getting so angry that anger doesn’t feel like anger anymore, it just feels like being tired. The first week of the pandemic I spent staring at the news and just shaking with rage. It became unsustainable and I started trying to get into some otherContinue reading “No, I didn’t know that Boris Johnson had missed five COBRA meetings, but I was so unsurprised that it didn’t even feel like new information to me.”

I feel like the crux of sobriety for me is thinking I’m worthwhile and precious enough to not be harmed, that I deserve to be sober and unharmed.

Human Bean‘s #MadCovidDiaries – Week 4: Week 4: April 13th to April 19th 2020  TW: Self harm; Alcohol / Sobriety I managed to get out for a walk today. I’ve been too scared to leave my house for two weeks, even though I was allowed to go for a walk or for essentials.I’m glad IContinue reading “I feel like the crux of sobriety for me is thinking I’m worthwhile and precious enough to not be harmed, that I deserve to be sober and unharmed.”

Having my treatment come to such an abrupt end was devastating….I was far from stable, and the prospect of suddenly having my support withdrawn was frightening.

Lucy’s #MadCovidDiaries 18.4.2020  TW: Suicide There was a shocked silence in the lounge area of the acute day treatment unit (ADTU): a silence that lasted a good 60 seconds. Then the questions started. Did we have to go home right now? Would we get home visits? What was going to happen about medication management? ItContinue reading “Having my treatment come to such an abrupt end was devastating….I was far from stable, and the prospect of suddenly having my support withdrawn was frightening.”

Feeling like a fraud: Do I still qualify as mad?

Jo’s fifth vlog is out now!  She talks about feeling like a fraud ‘mental’ because its been 3 years since she was very unwell. However, she tells us about all the things she has to do to stay well, like sleeping and eating well, not drinking alcohol and taking medication. Jo hope to hear aboutContinue reading “Feeling like a fraud: Do I still qualify as mad?”

I was tempted to call the mental health duty desk this weekend but got put off by imagining exhausted care workers at the end of their tether, with yet another depressive soul.

Eva’s #MadCovidDiaries Diary 14.4.2020 02:31 TW: COVID, depression, suicide ‘Kintsugi’ means golden joinery. The Japanese art of taking broken crockery and joining it together again with gold. The repairs are visible, but that’s what makes them beautiful. Such a powerful metaphor to be taken from today’s therapy session. I’m lucky to have a therapist thatContinue reading “I was tempted to call the mental health duty desk this weekend but got put off by imagining exhausted care workers at the end of their tether, with yet another depressive soul.”

I’ve had days where all I can manage is getting out of bed to use the toilet and possibly eat sugary cereal with creamy whole milk in bed.

Sunitha’s second #MadCovidDiaries 16.4.2020  How do I even start trying to describe the last week? Today in particular has been positive but what’s happened in the middle, not so much. A friend of mine today mentioned that our emotions right now are heightened and she’s right, I have had days where all I can manageContinue reading “I’ve had days where all I can manage is getting out of bed to use the toilet and possibly eat sugary cereal with creamy whole milk in bed.”