“If you can move through life without psychiatric medication, that is a privilege. If you can enjoy and celebrate your emancipation from psychiatry’s ugly clutches, that is a privilege”

David Mordecai’s #MadCovidDiaries – January 2021 TW: Mania, Advanced Dementia I am tired (but cannot sleep). I am angry. I am frustrated. I am deeply disappointed. And I am grieving. Apologies in advance that this will be more disjointed than my past MadCovid Diaries entries. My father is at the end of a journey myContinue reading ““If you can move through life without psychiatric medication, that is a privilege. If you can enjoy and celebrate your emancipation from psychiatry’s ugly clutches, that is a privilege””

My therapist held this power over me and yet could affirm that the experience I was having was not diseased or pathological, and was in fact positive, was remarkable and deeply validating and healing for me.

David Mordecai’s #MadCovidDiaries diary – 27.05.2020 One of memories that clearly marks how my life changed thanks to mental illness was being admitted to the overnight unit at the health centre of my university and having the staff person there write a giant ‘psi’ on her pad, which she then showed to the friend whoContinue reading “My therapist held this power over me and yet could affirm that the experience I was having was not diseased or pathological, and was in fact positive, was remarkable and deeply validating and healing for me.”

COVID is casting the choices between health and wealth in the starkest possible terms.

David Mordecai’s #MadCovidDiaries diary – 19.05.2020 I am in Toronto, Canada, and our political leadership would like us to believe that we are far enough along in our response to COVID to end our shutdown. My garden business was allowed to resume operations on May 4th. That’s shifted a lot in my life and isContinue reading “COVID is casting the choices between health and wealth in the starkest possible terms.”

If you want to do us a kindness, find another way to plug the gaps. Vote for policies that prioritise the NHS and local government funding and challenge the austerity agenda.

Charlotte‘s #MadCovidDiaries 18.5.2020 Lockdown Mental Health Awareness Week So Mental Health Awareness Week has rolled around again. I’m afraid I’m one of those jaded people with severe mental illness who feels that these days and weeks ring somewhat hollow, raising “awareness” without improving services or doing much to impact on the lives of people withContinue reading “If you want to do us a kindness, find another way to plug the gaps. Vote for policies that prioritise the NHS and local government funding and challenge the austerity agenda.”

#StayAlert: The pushing back of responsibility onto the individual echoes neoliberal health and welfare policies.

Charlotte‘s #MadCovidDiaries 10.5.2020 Don’t you hate it when a partner, friend or (worse) a manager says to you, “Listen, we need to talk later. I’ll tell you what it’s about then.” Argh! Terror! What can they possibly want to say that’s so important they can’t just say now? It must be something awful! Is heContinue reading “#StayAlert: The pushing back of responsibility onto the individual echoes neoliberal health and welfare policies.”

BAME key workers from working class backgrounds are falling ill and dying in disproportion to the rest of the population.

By way of introduction  My name is Lol Benson, I am scouse and a middle aged white man who works at Manchester Uni as a senior lecturer in healthcare management. I first developed depression in 2010, triggered by the bereavement of my mum Kathy Benson and then over the following three years I began toContinue reading “BAME key workers from working class backgrounds are falling ill and dying in disproportion to the rest of the population.”

Depression drops like the dead canary down the mine, alerting me of the toxic environment I’ve found myself in

TW: Abuse   Jemma’s #MadCovidDiaries 27.4.2020 2 weeks ago I thought I was cured. I was both looking forward to (and low-key fearing) a discharge, I’d survived my historical ‘Mad March’ with not so much of a hiccup. I mean I was raging everyday from the news and injustices being reported but pre covid I’d beenContinue reading “Depression drops like the dead canary down the mine, alerting me of the toxic environment I’ve found myself in”

The failures of our past economies are making us vulnerable. We need to choose to value different things economically.

David Mordecai’s #MadCovidDiaries diary – 1.05.2020 It’s been strange to go from five weeks when my mood felt remarkably good and stable, to a place where I’ve needed to interpret the signs of what my brain and body are doing sometimes moment by moment in order to decide what kind of interventions to make. FirstContinue reading “The failures of our past economies are making us vulnerable. We need to choose to value different things economically.”

Lockdown: Week….I have no idea!

Charlotte’s #MadCovidDiaries Diaries 29.4.2020 Last time I wrote I was quite pessimistic, thinking that my mental health wouldn’t hold up much longer under lockdown. I was, initially, wrong. I had several weeks of really good mental health, just feeling “me”. Not anxious, not depressed, not hypomanic, not even feeling the need to check in withContinue reading “Lockdown: Week….I have no idea!”

These days, the rising sun sometimes brings heavy feelings of sadness and dread.

Eva’s #MadCovidDiaries Diary 24.4.2020 TW: Sixth Week in Lockdown Started off the day in a slump. Sleep erratic. Took a Zopi around 4am. Fall asleep reading a book. A Thousand Splendid Sun’s. Woke up on top of it.  As my eyes settled in the daylight, I groaned. These days, the rising sun sometimes brings heavy feelings of sadnessContinue reading “These days, the rising sun sometimes brings heavy feelings of sadness and dread.”

The seriousness of COVID-19 is brought into sharp focus for me because my Dad lives in a long-term care home where there is currently an outbreak of at least three-dozen cases.

David Mordecai’s #MadCovidDiaries diary -Thursday April 23, 2020! Between my last #MadCovidDiaries update and today I’ve been floundering mood-wise. I did write daily entries but they just talked about being down. Also I realised I can stick to my goal of writing something every day while the end product becomes a single weekly entry. SoContinue reading “The seriousness of COVID-19 is brought into sharp focus for me because my Dad lives in a long-term care home where there is currently an outbreak of at least three-dozen cases.”

I was tempted to call the mental health duty desk this weekend but got put off by imagining exhausted care workers at the end of their tether, with yet another depressive soul.

Eva’s #MadCovidDiaries Diary 14.4.2020 02:31 TW: COVID, depression, suicide ‘Kintsugi’ means golden joinery. The Japanese art of taking broken crockery and joining it together again with gold. The repairs are visible, but that’s what makes them beautiful. Such a powerful metaphor to be taken from today’s therapy session. I’m lucky to have a therapist thatContinue reading “I was tempted to call the mental health duty desk this weekend but got put off by imagining exhausted care workers at the end of their tether, with yet another depressive soul.”

I have this sense that mad folks “own” the territory the world finds itself in now. I feel like we have a lot to offer. Maybe that sounds crazy.

David Mordecai’s first #MadCovidDiaries diary! I want to keep a daily diary. However #MadCovidDiaries are published weekly. This is my first week of posts. Tuesday, April 14th, 2020:  Feeling okay about feeling okay … maybe. This actually didn’t open fully until Wednesday. It’s such a source of gladness and joy for me cooped up inContinue reading “I have this sense that mad folks “own” the territory the world finds itself in now. I feel like we have a lot to offer. Maybe that sounds crazy.”

Loved ones all over the world, devastated. Hollowed out by grief. A world that no longer looks and feels the same.

Eva’s #MadCovidDiaries Diary 10.4.2020 TW: COVID, depression, suicide Nearly a month since lockdown. I’m getting too used to hiding away..No one forcing me to go out anywhere. No need to be anywhere. Heard my neighbors having a laugh as I sat by the window earlier. They were having what sounded like a party.  ‘Well I’mContinue reading “Loved ones all over the world, devastated. Hollowed out by grief. A world that no longer looks and feels the same.”

It feels so absurd to sit at home and do activities like this isn’t the apocalypse.

Jess’s First #MadCovidDiaries 9.4.2020 (Jess lives in the US) I have to admit I’ve been struggling lately. I know I’m not alone in that feeling, but solidarity from afar doesn’t make it much easier. I’ve been trying to stay busy, but I also know I’m not sleeping enough. The season change and the big change inContinue reading “It feels so absurd to sit at home and do activities like this isn’t the apocalypse.”

There is a numbness as if there’s a cloak covering the sharpness of everything. It feels like I’m seeing the world without my glasses on.

Eva’s #MadCovidDiaries Diary 8.4.2020 TW: COVID, Depression Third week in self-isolation/social distancing: Overall I have gone quiet and introspective. I like talking to people less, they inevitably ask that intimidating ‘how are you’ question. Do I lie? Do I tell the truth? At the moment I don’t know what the answer really is. I amContinue reading “There is a numbness as if there’s a cloak covering the sharpness of everything. It feels like I’m seeing the world without my glasses on.”

Day 10 of lockdown: Fear

Charlotte’s #MadCovidDiaries Diary 2.4.20   Last time I wrote a #MadCovidDiaries entry I touched on feeling slightly abandoned by services since just before lockdown, even though in reality I can phone my CPN at any time during the working week. As the days have passed this feeling has only increased, in no small part becauseContinue reading “Day 10 of lockdown: Fear”

There is no normalcy to reality check against my unreality: There is reality in unreality.

Eva’s first #MadCovidDiaries Diary 31.3.2020 It has been fifteen days since I committed to self-isolation, social distancing or am I shielding? So many terms are flying about, it’s hard to keep up. Changes in the situation are spreading fast like the virus. The thing that terrifies me is catching it, I’m alone and feel likeContinue reading “There is no normalcy to reality check against my unreality: There is reality in unreality.”

Lockdown Week 1: A Mixed Bag

Charlotte’s first #MadCovidDiaries Diary 29.3.20 Hi, I’m Charlotte, I’m 45, I live with my husband and I have bipolar disorder with acute anxiety. This post contains a lot of references to exercise, so if this is triggering for you it might not be the best diary entry to read. It feels a bit weird toContinue reading “Lockdown Week 1: A Mixed Bag”