“My therapist emailed to say she would no longer be seeing me face to face due to the new Covid strain / lock-down. The previous lock-down was horrific without face-to-face support. It’s not an experience I would ever want to repeat.”

@Chlowinfield1’s #MadCovidDiaries 15.1.2021 TW: Suicide and Self-harm Last week my therapist emailed me to say she would no longer be seeing me face to face due to the new Covid strain/lock-down and me not being able to wear a mask (I have an exemption and can wear it for short periods e.g. on the busContinue reading ““My therapist emailed to say she would no longer be seeing me face to face due to the new Covid strain / lock-down. The previous lock-down was horrific without face-to-face support. It’s not an experience I would ever want to repeat.””

“I was finally diagnosed as autistic, via a long awaited assessment. It was done virtually… I’m in my mid thirties, and I feel grief that I went so long without this understanding of myself.”

Human Bean‘s #MadCovidDiaries 13.12.2020 The good side of my personal circumstances at the moment: my partner is able to teach from home for a little while, my kids are off school and nursery. We can hunker down for a while and be relatively safe. I’m really grateful for that, and for this time together. I’mContinue reading ““I was finally diagnosed as autistic, via a long awaited assessment. It was done virtually… I’m in my mid thirties, and I feel grief that I went so long without this understanding of myself.””

One phone call with a professional would have made a huge difference when I was in the depths of anxiety and paranoia. I’m so grateful my family and friends were there for me, but it scares me to think of others suffering without that support.

TW: Anxiety, OCD. @mugamnesty’s #MadCovidDiaries 25.12.2020 In August I returned to my job and apartment, after spending ‘lockdown 1.0’ back home with my parents and brother. I was thrilled and knew how lucky I was to be getting my life back. As a professional worrier and over-thinker, I’d expected low-level problems with a flat thatContinue reading “One phone call with a professional would have made a huge difference when I was in the depths of anxiety and paranoia. I’m so grateful my family and friends were there for me, but it scares me to think of others suffering without that support.”

“It feels like we are back to where we were in April. I miss my parents in ways that I can’t comprehend, which leaves me unable to communicate with them because I feel like it creates too much internal pain”.

Sunitha‘s #MadCovidDiaries 4.01.2020 TW: Suicidal thoughts Wow, I didn’t realise until I am writing now that I took such a long break from this. Last week was a complete disaster as apparently taking a break from everything was not the reset that I hoped for leading to strange sleeping schedules (5am – 5pm), no showering,Continue reading ““It feels like we are back to where we were in April. I miss my parents in ways that I can’t comprehend, which leaves me unable to communicate with them because I feel like it creates too much internal pain”.”

The expectation is this: under these unusual circumstances, one should suffer more with their mental health. Years of adversity and intense emotional crisis gives me resilience; I move parallel to these restrictions.

Amanda’s #MadCovidDiaries 25.12.2020 Flow with It. The expectation is this: under these unusual circumstances, one should suffer more with their mental health. Although that is true for many, on the contrary, I grow deeper into my art and discover resonance for my personal mission. Years of adversity and intense emotional crisis gives me resilience; IContinue reading “The expectation is this: under these unusual circumstances, one should suffer more with their mental health. Years of adversity and intense emotional crisis gives me resilience; I move parallel to these restrictions.”

Brave New World? #28

Tony’s Photographic #MadCovidDiary 11.12.2020 Tony adds his 28th instalment of photos to the collection ‘Brave New World?’. He takes photos on his trips under lockdown in the UK. You can read more about his work here. No longer the “ happy to chat bench” Happy to slap a fine bench Don’t sit here Not forContinue reading “Brave New World? #28”

Tamar’s Lived Experience Practitioner’s (LXP) #DriscriminationDiaries

Tamar’s #MadCovidDiaries 10.01.2020 Over the last month Tamar has been documenting the discrimination she has experienced as a Lived Experience Practitioner using video diaries or vlogs. You can catch up on them all here, or you can scroll down and watch a few select diaries. If you are able to assist Tamar on legal mattersContinue reading “Tamar’s Lived Experience Practitioner’s (LXP) #DriscriminationDiaries”

I wish the medical bodies, mental health charities and those who hold power would use it in an honourable way instead of capitulating to a corrupt system.

Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries 24.12.2020 2020: the year the other shoe dropped. To wrap up this year, I decided to choose four lessons I learned. None of them are cheerful but they are real hard won lessons. I even name check ginger crooner Mick Hucknall, and ever disapproving DBT wizard Marsha Linehan, two great minds of ourContinue reading “I wish the medical bodies, mental health charities and those who hold power would use it in an honourable way instead of capitulating to a corrupt system.”

“Praise is something that I have learnt to accept, but I don’t think I will ever accept praise from myself. Writing in this blog has allowed me to put myself out there but I never expected anybody to care about what I have to say.”

Sunitha‘s #MadCovidDiaries 14.12.2020 Last week has been a rollercoaster of really good moments and really weird feelings of being overwhelmed with the anxiety of life. Let’s start with the terrible stuff because well, I’m feeling a lot of anxiety still. Since Friday, I have been feeling debilitating anxiety, worrying about every little thing possible and beforeContinue reading ““Praise is something that I have learnt to accept, but I don’t think I will ever accept praise from myself. Writing in this blog has allowed me to put myself out there but I never expected anybody to care about what I have to say.””

“The blitz spirit of lockdown 1 has vanished. We’re no longer all in this together; we’re pitted against each other.”

@lucywriter’s #MadCovidDiaries 22.12.2020 Back in March, when we first locked down, I couldn’t even countenance that we’d still be in the grips of the pandemic by Christmas. I fully expected the virus to burn itself out by the summer, and the headlines saying social distancing could be needed for the rest of the year seemedContinue reading ““The blitz spirit of lockdown 1 has vanished. We’re no longer all in this together; we’re pitted against each other.””

“I thought I’d just check the headlines and there was something absurd about the government having to use military planes for the vaccine because of Brexit and I wanted to laugh to stop myself from crying.”

Sunitha‘s #MadCovidDiaries 07.12.2020 As always, I seem to have a habit of leaving things until the last minute, which is what has happened with writing today. That said, I don’t think I really took much time out to relax today as it’s been ongoing. When I left work, I caught up with a friend whoContinue reading ““I thought I’d just check the headlines and there was something absurd about the government having to use military planes for the vaccine because of Brexit and I wanted to laugh to stop myself from crying.””

Brave New World? #27 Christmas Special!

Tony’s Photographic #MadCovidDiary 21.12.2020 Tony adds his 27th and Christmas instalment of photos to the collection ‘Brave New World?’. He takes photos on his daily short walks under lockdown in the UK. You can read more about his work here. Tony would like to dedicate this Christmas Special and his poem to Fiona Marks. Tony’sContinue reading “Brave New World? #27 Christmas Special!”

“If there are good things that come out of the loss from COVID-19, I hope that it will include being kinder towards people who experience discrimination and vulnerability.”

Tamar’s #MadCovidDiaries 13.12.2020 Entry 1 – Introduction Hi, I’m Tamar. I’ve been wanting to be part of the Mad Covid Diaries since I first saw the project, I even wrote a bit of stuff! Obviously, I did sod all with it. I thought it all needed to be perfect, finished. So, I didn’t submit anything,Continue reading ““If there are good things that come out of the loss from COVID-19, I hope that it will include being kinder towards people who experience discrimination and vulnerability.””

“This year with the rules about Christmas bubbles it feels even harder to please everyone. My needs always come last and it is killing me”

Human Bean‘s #MadCovidDiaries 13.12.2020 How am I feeling? Sad and angry. And anxious. So many people around me are just carrying on like there’s no pandemic – I have tried and failed to let go of my anger about this. I’m plagued with health anxiety. I think I need to start doing regular worry timeContinue reading ““This year with the rules about Christmas bubbles it feels even harder to please everyone. My needs always come last and it is killing me””

“My life has always been about surviving rather than thriving”

Sunitha‘s #MadCovidDiaries 02.12.2020 TW: Bereavement My week has been intense and I’m struggling to figure out when the intensity will stop. I wish that it would be over and I could truly rest but I feel like this is an ongoing struggle and I need to carve out some time for myself. Even sleep doesn’tContinue reading ““My life has always been about surviving rather than thriving””

How can I speak up when you can hold me down? Restrictive practice on an acute ward – an inpatient perspective.

@MiserySquid’s #MadCovidDiaries 09.12.2020 Trigger warning: contains references to self-injury and ligature, detainment and coercive practice.              There is a purple handprint on my left shoulder blade. I twist my neck in the mirror to get a good look at it. Four clear fingers, a thumb and a round violet palm mark. It’s possible that itContinue reading “How can I speak up when you can hold me down? Restrictive practice on an acute ward – an inpatient perspective.”

Snagging anger. “If you could see anger, what would it look like?”

Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries 06.12.2020 TW: Abuse Snagging anger. Therapist asks me ‘If you could see anger, what would it look like?’ I know what therapist is getting at but I can only summon up anger as a little rocky boundary kicked over until it becomes useless rubble. The grown ups used to tell me ‘there is noContinue reading “Snagging anger. “If you could see anger, what would it look like?””

I overheard a group of people walking past me questioning how terrible 2020 has been for them. Yet I realised that compared to 2019, for me, 2020 has been so much better.

Sunitha‘s #MadCovidDiaries 24.11.2020 TW: Self-harm, Bereavement This week has been so crazily busy for me, but one thing that I did manage to do was have Saturday where I took a break from screens (tv, laptop and phone), which for me felt completely different from anything that I’d experienced in a while. Whilst I wasContinue reading “I overheard a group of people walking past me questioning how terrible 2020 has been for them. Yet I realised that compared to 2019, for me, 2020 has been so much better.”

Michelle’s #MadCovidDiaries @DyslxicRant

Michelle‘s @DyslxicRant’s #MadCovidDiaries Michelle has been busy and has some art on sale at the moment – check her work out at @DyslxicRant. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. We ask that you seek our permission before you use any of our material – this includes researchers who wantContinue reading “Michelle’s #MadCovidDiaries @DyslxicRant”

The pandemic is still affecting my mental health, causing me to feel anxious and overwhelmed. I made a decision a few days ago to disconnect from online news, but weirdly, it’s given me a sense of emptiness.

Sunitha‘s #MadCovidDiaries 16.11.2020 TW: It’s been a challenging week, where I felt like I reached breaking point on multiple occasions. However, I think whilst I experienced elements of burn out, I have found that I have been able to recharge over the weekend. The most important part that I have been able to recognise isContinue reading “The pandemic is still affecting my mental health, causing me to feel anxious and overwhelmed. I made a decision a few days ago to disconnect from online news, but weirdly, it’s given me a sense of emptiness.”