Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries 25.04.2021, CW: trauma, suicidal & self harm thoughts. I haven’t written a Madcovid diary for a little while now because I have been focusing on my weekly EMDR therapy sessions. I suppose I felt as though writing about therapy might jinx my chances of it working out. I’ve also been conscious that manyContinue reading “EMDR and Xena, Warrior Princess.”
Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries 24.01.2020 In, over through and out! That was my mantra when I had my first psychotic break. My mum placed a pair of knitting needles in my hands and she explained that knitting had been what kept her going through 3 months of pregnancy bedrest. Her mother in law had handed her aContinue reading “I think knitting does my mental health good. It allows me to put the many flickering tabs my brain has open into stasis whilst my hands take over with a restful muscle memory.”
Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries 24.12.2020 2020: the year the other shoe dropped. To wrap up this year, I decided to choose four lessons I learned. None of them are cheerful but they are real hard won lessons. I even name check ginger crooner Mick Hucknall, and ever disapproving DBT wizard Marsha Linehan, two great minds of ourContinue reading “I wish the medical bodies, mental health charities and those who hold power would use it in an honourable way instead of capitulating to a corrupt system.”
Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries 06.12.2020 TW: Abuse Snagging anger. Therapist asks me ‘If you could see anger, what would it look like?’ I know what therapist is getting at but I can only summon up anger as a little rocky boundary kicked over until it becomes useless rubble. The grown ups used to tell me ‘there is noContinue reading “Snagging anger. “If you could see anger, what would it look like?””
Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries 20.11.2020 TW: Sexual abuse I’m sat in a wood with David Attenborough. We first got to know each other when I was 5 years old. David ended one of his dinosaur programmes by concluding sadly that we’d never know what colour the dinosaurs were. I didn’t want David to be sad and sinceContinue reading “I am sat in my bedroom, my therapist is sat in their home study and we’re talking via a laptop. Sometimes the picture lags behind the sound, as if my therapists face is a simply pirated DVD film.”
Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries – 6th of October 2020 Whole ass-ing a Wellness Recovery Action Plan. I’ve spent the last 5 years facilitating Wellness Recovery Action Plan Groups. I’m going to preface this entry by explaining why many peoples shoulders go up around their ears at the mention of Wellness Recovery Action Planning. It’s understandable. Wellness RecoveryContinue reading “Zoom WRAP: “Despite being alone in our living rooms, we bonded.””
Heather’s #MadCovidDiaries – 5th of October 2020 Content warning: Abuse One day in my teenage years, I came home excited. I’d been at work experience and I returned brimming full of stories of this new world of work. In this world, people joked and turned the radio up and wore cool shoes, just like myContinue reading ““What are you so happy about? People like you don’t get to be happy in life.’”
Sunitha’s #MadCovidDiaries – 8 September 2020
I embrace the fact that I am having a terrible week but that all I can do is survive. Survive to maybe have the possibility of living again.
Heather‘s #MadCovidDiaries 2.8.2020 My grandparents have lived in Bradford all their life. Grandma worked on the glove counter of Brown and Muffs; which sounds like a euphemism but was a department store that formed part of her glamorous career girl history. Grandad’s father was a music hall pianist, he liked to fill a bath tubContinue reading “I have a couple of five word slogans for you, Boris; The North is fierce hearted. We won’t be divided now. We choose justice and peace over lies.”
It’s time to rest and I find that hard to do when there is so much to do and people – my people, my peers – are being abandoned by this government.
Heather‘s #MadCovidDiaries 27.5.2020 Moonstruck. I’m showing my fellow volunteers how Zoom works. We click through the menu above our faces and I explain that you can rename yourself. ‘You could have a nickname, or choose your pronouns, or make up a whole other name, if you like.’ I spend the rest of the session teachingContinue reading “I’ve been a mad person in psychiatric services for 15 years and have spent 12 years on Lithium, which means I’m in the lost causes league.”
TW: Self Harm Heather‘s #MadCovidDiaries 27.5.2020 I’ve been crying for an hour by the time I make the call. People say crying is therapeutic, like a flash storm – it’s a sudden spurt of emotion that clears all the cobwebs away. I’ve been sat, fully dressed in the empty bath tub alone for an hourContinue reading “No one can fix this mess… Maybe it’s reasonable to cry… Maybe being one of many helpline callers tonight is a sign that this crisis is a big one.”