You have never acknowledged or apologised for the harm you caused me.

  Ellie‘s #MadCovidDiaries #Midnight Waffles 15.6.2020 It’s hard to know where to start. I guess as good a place as any is to admit quarantine has not been easy. For the last month or so I’ve felt unable to articulate what I’m thinking or feeling, to myself as much as anyone else. I’ve felt unsettled, I can’tContinue reading “You have never acknowledged or apologised for the harm you caused me.”

COVID19 has created a sense of time between my recent trauma, and the collective trauma we’re going through right now. It’s pulled me intensely, and forcefully, into the present moment.

  Ellie’s #MadCovidDiaries #Midnight Waffles 25.4.2020 This diary, ‘midnight waffles’, started a couple of weeks before the lockdown, having recently escaped a mental health services blackhole somewhere near South London and Maudsley hospital. I was completely run into the ground having spent 3 years fighting for my patient rights – feeling like I’d been trapped in aContinue reading “COVID19 has created a sense of time between my recent trauma, and the collective trauma we’re going through right now. It’s pulled me intensely, and forcefully, into the present moment.”

I forget that whilst the NHS hasn’t shown any real care or concern for my wellbeing over the last 4 years, i’m still ‘severely disabled’.

  Ellie’s #MadCovidDiaries #Midnight Waffles 8.3.2020 My moods picked up a bit over the last couple of days, thank fuck my period’s over, although i’m reaching peak boredom. I’m missing other people. I want to give Dad a hug, or sit in the sun with a friend and waffle about something joyfully irrelevant. Spending weeks on endContinue reading “I forget that whilst the NHS hasn’t shown any real care or concern for my wellbeing over the last 4 years, i’m still ‘severely disabled’.”

Unless the cheese completely slides off my cracker, help ain’t coming.

  Ellie’s #MadCovidDiary #Midnight Waffles 30.3.2020 The last few days i’ve been conscious of being very blasé when people ask how i’m doing. I say almost exactly the same thing every time; “ups and downs but, y’know, generally alright.” I don’t know why i keep avoiding giving a meaningful response. I guess it seems a bit futile.Continue reading “Unless the cheese completely slides off my cracker, help ain’t coming.”

The world’s fallen into what feels like a dystopian nightmare

TW: Eating Disorders / Distress. Eleanor’s #MadCovidDiary 21.3.2020 The world’s fallen into what feels like a dystopian nightmare. Everything’s shutting down, nobody wants to go outside, and the tories are actually dolling out cash. Not enough, obviously, and there’s fuck all in terms of guidance or provisions for people with mental health conditions, as usual,Continue reading “The world’s fallen into what feels like a dystopian nightmare”