I’ve found that this week, like the first few months of the pandemic, the reality of what we are living through keeps hitting me over and over again. It really feels like nothing will ever be the same again.

I’ve found that this week, like the first few months of the pandemic, the reality of what we are living through keeps hitting me over and over again. It really feels like nothing will ever be the same again.

Human Bean’s #MadCovidDiaries, Week 22: August 17th 2020 to August 23rd 2020

I felt like a piece of meat turning over for the scan. I dissociated from myself and no longer was a person. This is what trauma and autism in a pandemic feels like.

I felt like a piece of meat turning over for the scan. I dissociated from myself and no longer was a person. This is what trauma and autism in a pandemic feels like.

Human Bean’s #MadCovidDiaries, Week 21: August 10th to August 16th 2020

Trigger warnings: medical talk, self injury, trauma

Before COVID there were so many places I could have gone if I wanted to. Did I waste the chance? No. Let’s face it, I never had the spoons.

Before COVID there were so many places I could have gone if I wanted to. Did I waste the chance? No. Let’s face it, I never had the spoons.

Human Bean’s #MadCovidDiaries, Week 20: August 3rd to August 9th

As a meme I saw recently said: all lifting lockdown means is that there’s space for you in ICU now.

As a meme I saw recently said: all lifting lockdown means is that there’s space for you in ICU now.

Human Bean’s #MadCovidDiaries, Week 19: July 27th – August 2nd

I feel so annoyed that many of my friends think people like me are being too anxious and just need help to be less afraid. I feel that I have an accurate view of the COVID risk and they have kidded themselves into being less afraid because they want to “get back to normal”.

I feel so annoyed that many of my friends think people like me are being too anxious and just need help to be less afraid. I feel that I have an accurate view of the COVID risk and they have kidded themselves into being less afraid because they want to “get back to normal”.

I feel like we’re living in such a brutal world and I didn’t even have the resilience to cope with the old one let alone this.

Human Bean’s #MadCovidDiaries, Week 16: July 6th to July 12th TW: Cancer I came out to my mum as non binary this week. I also told a few more people about my plans to change my name. I feel really silly about it (internalised transphobia or a hangover from being stigmatised for BPD shifts inContinue reading “I feel like we’re living in such a brutal world and I didn’t even have the resilience to cope with the old one let alone this.”

‘I’ve coped with lockdown pretty damn well, so can you stop calling me emotionally unstable now?’

‘I’ve coped with lockdown pretty damn well, so can you stop calling me emotionally unstable now?’

@lucywriter’s #madcoviddiaries, 06.07.20

Health professionals get frustrated with me and misinterpret my attempts at communication. The thought of talking to a doctor now brings a wave of panic because my experience this year has been so terrible.

Human Bean‘s #MadCovidDiaries – Week 13: June 15th to June 21st TW: iatrogenic trauma, ableism  It’s diary day. I don’t feel like talking today. I guess that’s a good reason to have a set day to update, it’s more representative of my mood than if I just updated when I felt like it.  Looong exhale. Continue reading “Health professionals get frustrated with me and misinterpret my attempts at communication. The thought of talking to a doctor now brings a wave of panic because my experience this year has been so terrible.”

“I’ll just give you a call once a week to make sure you’re alive”: The impact of changes to mental health service delivery during COVID19. Part 2

Last week we published part 1 of a blog about changes to the delivery of mental health services during COVID19, based on 16 interviews that we’ve done with people using mental health services across the UK. In that blog we highlighted major changes, including significant reductions in contact, inconsistent and ad-hoc check-ins, disparities in theContinue reading ““I’ll just give you a call once a week to make sure you’re alive”: The impact of changes to mental health service delivery during COVID19. Part 2”

Mad Covid Voices, with Avery

21st April 2020 How has your care changed since COVID19? All of my face-to-face appointments have been cancelled, or moved to telephone appointments, but in the telephone appointments they’re not really been able to make another appointment. It’s just kind of been a one-off “are you currently fine?” level of contact, kind of for theContinue reading “Mad Covid Voices, with Avery”

“I’ll just give you a call once a week to make sure you’re alive”: Changes to how mental health services are delivered during COVID19: Part 1.

To date, we’ve done 16 interviews with people using mental health services across the UK. This is the third in a series of blogs highlighting key issues that they’re facing as a result of COVID19. Some of the people we interviewed gave consent to publish their interview in full, which are being uploaded here, andContinue reading ““I’ll just give you a call once a week to make sure you’re alive”: Changes to how mental health services are delivered during COVID19: Part 1.”

CLAPPED OUT: mental illness, abuse by services and #ClapForCarers

CW: iatrogenic (i.e. medical) abuse and neglect, psychiatric inpatient settings, suicide Warning: in no place in this blog will you see a reference to how ‘grateful’ we are for the NHS. State-funded healthcare, paid from taxation and free at the point of access should not be something anyone is grateful for – it is aContinue reading “CLAPPED OUT: mental illness, abuse by services and #ClapForCarers”