COVID19: The most devastating impact on my mental health has been to witness humanity’s greed.

Matthew Jackman

The mental health and service user experience during COVID19 in Australia: from personal to professional disaster.

I write alongside my heater in the lounge room as the weather reaches 8 degrees centigrade on a dreary and rainy winter like day in Melbourne, Australia. Working from home has been a struggle, as I gather myself into some sort of routine by going for a walk, showering and setting up my laptop in an area well insulated in my flat. My housemates are either working night shifts at the hospital attending to COVID19 demands or have gone home to their families in the countryside due to quarantine restrictions. I have lost a sense of purpose during this time, experiencing collective and global anxiety. The world has lost its way forward as it responds to crisis without forethought about how the world will look when this global health crisis subsides.  

Recently, I lost my sessional academic role teaching social work. This was due to student enrolments decreasing as a result of COVID19. Sadly, there’s no support from the federal government in job seeker payments, which is an injustice for 70% of the higher education workforce who are causal in Australia. However, I applied to access my superannuation early due to losing more than 20% of my income which was a federal government initiative. Our financial health has taken a battering during the collapse of materialism and a false economy founded on debt and Capitalist sentiment.

Fortunately, I continue to work as a mental health clinician in a government department alongside veterans and their families who need support via telehealth. Sharing common and collective concerns over the phone with people has been an empathic unifier, as people I partner alongside as a clinician self-manage expectations about timelines and ask me how I’m doing as a clinician. What a change.

However, working from home has been difficult, given I am battling with my own experiences of anxiety, mood fluctuations and thought disturbances with a diagnosis of Bipolar Affective Disorder as defined by Psychiatry. It can be difficult battling with others inner demons when you are experiencing a similar phenomenon.

The mental health system and its broader intersections with health, education, employment, income security, housing and disability has not been able to cope with the demand. Many of us accessing services have felt let down in not attending to our complex grief, loss and trauma. Alongside our formal support system, we have seen the collapse of our informal support system as there has been significant family and relationship conflict due to the physical distancing and quarantine sanctions resulting in relationship breakdowns and discord. Now to deal with my grief without adequate supports.

The most devastating impact on my mental health has been to witness humanities greed. We have seen this in privileged individuals accessing essentials goods and services in supermarkets, those same individuals not complying to public health advice in physical distancing and quarantining, and privatised companies monetising mental health and other services for the betterment and gain of personal greed than the contribution to us as human beings.

Despite COVID19’s detrimental impact on my mental health, I have been able to build inner resilience, and sit with my emotions and critical reflections. I have gained a greater sense of self in solitude and am thankful for the positive changes in human behaviour resulting in a more sustainable and just world. We are more than what we produce and consume.

COVID19 has not been all that bad. But we have had to sacrifice for great change in how we live, breathe and sustain our Earth and human species.

By Matthew Jackman

Service User and Mad Studies Academic, Victoria University

Western Pacific Regional Representative, Global Mental Health Peer Network

If you’ve enjoyed reading this blog, please consider donating to our Hardship Fund for people with a mental health condition who are in financial need during COVID19. Mad Covid is an entirely unfunded group.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. We ask that you seek our permission before you use any of our material – this includes researchers who want to harvest our data for analysis!

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